9 Signs You’re Headed for a Breakup

All good things must end (except for my friends’ marriages), but sometimes you can see a breakup coming. It’s as easy as looking for these subtle signs.

1. You’re dating me. Enough said.
2. She found your spitter. Maybe it’s time to quit.
3. You detest her music. It’s like a subliminal breakup message.
4. You kicked her dog. She’ll never forgive you, but enough with the mid-20s women having dogs. We get it.
5. She’s always asking you to buy batteries, even when the remote’s not dead. Talk about a self-esteem killer.
6. She’s from one side of the tracks, you’re from the other. Classic greaser/soc problem.
7. Herpes. She didn’t have it when you met…
8. Your first discussion of politics (or religion) is an argument over her abortion. Let that sink in.
9. She doesn’t respect the wood. Do you respect the wood?